Understanding Grief and Finding Your Path Forward

Transcript

Sterling: 0:00
 This episode of Struggle2Success is proudly brought to you by NAMI Lancaster County, your trusted resource for mental health support and advocacy. Did you know that one in five adults in the U.S. experiences a mental health condition each year? That’s why NAMI Lancaster County is here to help. Whether you or someone you love is facing a mental health challenge, NAMI provides free education, support groups, and community resources to ensure no one has to face it alone. NAMI Lancaster County is privately funded by generous donors in our community who believe in building a brighter, healthier future for all of us. Their compassion fuels the programs that make a difference every day. Visit namilancopa.org today to learn more about their programs, volunteer opportunities, or to donate. That’s NAMI Lancaster County—hope starts here!

Announcement: 0:50
If you have ever been told by someone that you’re not capable of attaining success, if you have made mistakes or lived in an underprivileged neighborhood, then this podcast is for you. You are now locked in to Struggle2Success. Struggle2Success aims to inspire individuals to navigate life’s challenges with courage, fortitude, and unwavering determination. So if you’re in your car, jogging, or somewhere else trying to find the calm in the storm, then join Struggle2Success airing every other Saturday. Remember, life is trials. Stay focused.

Sterling: 1:27
 Hello, wonderful people. This is the Struggle2Success Podcast. I’m your host, Sterling Brown. A few weeks ago, a mentor of mine suddenly passed away. He was not only a great officer, but an inspiring human being. To those who knew him as an officer, his character always matched his words. Today, we’re going to unpack and explore some tips that can benefit both your mental and physical health in times of loss.

Sterling: 1:52
 There’s no question that loss brings a mix of emotions—facing the future without someone you love and dealing with loneliness, which can make us feel disconnected from others. Mary Ann Evans, known by her pen name George Eliot, once said, “Our dead are never dead until we have forgotten them.” I believe this sentiment holds true across many cultures. In fact, death is often treated as a celebration of life. As humans, we seek to process events not just for understanding, but for closure—and it’s that closure that initiates the healing process.

Sterling: 2:25
 However, as we grow older and begin to understand the value of time and self, we tend to forget—or avoid—reflecting on discomfort, stress, or even death. We’re often too focused on making plans, setting career goals, and dreaming about our future. But what if we included one more concept in our plans: death? Would it detract from our vision, or could it make our lives richer and more meaningful? So why do we procrastinate in preparing for it? We know that we are born, we live, and we will die—but we do have some control over how we live. The one certainty in life is that death will come for us all. We don’t know when, how, or why, but we know it will. This is why reflection and making better choices as we grow older, as we mature, is so important. As we progress on our journey from struggle to success, we must reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly. Nothing forces us to reflect more deeply than the loss of a loved one—a mother, a brother, a friend, or even a furry companion. In these moments, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming, and sometimes that pain can lead to difficult choices—choices we may never fully understand. My daughter was 16 years of age and a mother of a beautiful baby boy when she chose to die by suicide.

Sterling: 3:44
 When I received the news, I was teaching in another city. My first reaction was total numbness and disbelief. I felt as though no one else in the world could understand how I felt at that moment. Instinctively, I told myself I needed to stay strong for my family. I recall using empathetic language with myself to maintain self-control and motivation. Thinking positively about my role in this tragedy helped prevent me from shutting down physically.

Sterling: 4:10
 The following weeks were a torturous uphill battle of reflection and acceptance. I continued to remind myself that it was okay to feel the way I was feeling and to acknowledge that life is unfair. This brings me to my second tip: self-acceptance. Many of us struggle with the mental block of, “If only I had done this.” The truth is, they made their choice. We must learn to accept it.

Sterling: 4:33
 After my daughter was laid to rest, I was flooded with emotion—dread, anxiety, and fear. What helped me through was deepening my understanding of others who had experienced similar losses. This is my third tip: seek support.

Sterling: 4:49
 Grief counseling or therapy, talking with family members and friends—these are vital in coping with loss. If you’re struggling, remember they’re struggling too. Reach out to your health insurance provider or your local organizations to connect with specialists who can guide you through the grieving process. In times of grief, seeking comfort in the experiences of others can reassure you that healing is possible. Alongside personal stories, many people also find strength in spiritual guidance and religious texts. With every hardship, there will be relief.

Sterling: 5:21
 It is also devastating to lose friendships due to miscommunication or misunderstanding. In such cases, it’s important to reflect on whether the relationship is worthy of salvaging or if it’s time to part ways. Communication is key—even when you’re not on speaking terms. Find common ground, express your feelings without blame, and, if necessary, seek peaceful ways to move on. No connection can thrive without communication. Most of all, patience lies at the core of overcoming tragedy and loss. As we navigate through time, the many emotions and happy memories we once shared remain part of the fabric that helps us overcome our fears, anxiety, and grief. Patience is key.

Sterling: 5:57
 As I close this episode, I’d like to leave you with a quote from the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who said, “Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.” If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review.

Announcement: 6:24
Thanks for checking out this episode of Struggle2Success. To connect with the show, you can email us at struggle2success.p@gmail.com
. Make sure you like and subscribe so that you never miss an episode. And remember, life is trials. Stay focused.